A Foster to Adopt Story (And How They Need You)
(Inside: How you can help take care of the orphans through adoption, foster care or in a different way. Read ideas from a touching story.)
Jenny felt like God had something big in store for her.
Her negative self-talk questioned: Who am I to play a huge role in this world? Josh and I’s marriage can be rocky and needs attention to stay strong, I’m a tired mama of 4 kids…
But still, when she prayed, she clearly heard, “Jenny, don’t limit what I can do because your life isn’t perfect. Trust me.”
Jenny started to feel the slight nudge to adopt. So, her family raised money, signed up for an agency, completed 20 hours of training and almost wrote on the dotted lines. But then…
Josh and Jenny found out she was pregnant again (surprise!) and their daughter broke her femur. Adoption was put on hold.
Still, Jenny heard, “I have plans for you…big plans…stick with me.” Not knowing what else to do, Jenny worked on her relationship with God. She spent time in the Word and prayed and listened to the stirring of her heart. The excitement grew, but also, so did apprehension. Unexpectedly, she started feeling she shouldn’t adopt.
“But adoption felt right – what’s changed? Why am I feeling this way? I still have a heart for orphan care. I don’t get it, God. I thought I heard your voice and now I don’t. How are you going to use me?” Jenny asked God.
“Don’t put me in a box, Jenny. Trust me.”
Uninvited foster care thoughts began filling her mind. “No, just, no, Jesus.” Jenny and Josh liked the safety of an adoption agency. They felt more in control, it seemed tidier – but foster care…what a big mess that is. Jenny wrestled with these thoughts, rationalizing them away – this isn’t God talking because I don’t like this message. God only says things I like. The end. Thank you very much.
“Jenny, I have big plans for you. Keep seeking my voice and looking for the next right step.” With teary eyes and a hope-filled heart, Jenny kept leaning on God’s invitation to trust.
The phone buzzed showing the name of the social worker from their adoption agency. The conversation that unfolded stopped Jenny in her tracks.
(What?)
(Still, what?)
(I can’t believe what I’m hearing.)
“Jenny, I feel like God has laid this on my heart – you are not supposed to adopt through us. Your journey is in a different direction.”
With shaky hands, Jenny set her phone back on the counter and let the tears wet her cheeks. A peace blanketed her as she inhaled deeply and she tapped on her husband’s number, “Josh…I know where our kid is coming from…”
{Fast forward}
The words spoken by Josh’s friend Brian astonished him. Brian’s sister had three kids in foster care. They’d been jumping from home to home and one child was sick. Really sick. Brian was newly married with a baby, starting a career, a full plate – he could not take on three kids. But, what about Josh? Could Josh’s family consider this challenge?
Josh knew right then. He knew so much he hesitated to tell Jenny. She’d confirm this calling and he didn’t know if he was ready for that. Eight kids. As in E. I. G. H. T. The number between 7 and 9. That’s insane. The cost. The extra space needed. The extra love and attention, could his family take this on? And then there’s the ill child – could they deal with the constant medication and doctor’s appointments? This is big. Heavy, even.
But, Josh knew – these kids were about to be his and Jenny’s kids. And it felt right.
I hear this story and I see Jesus. I see people who live out a Christian’s calling of taking care of the orphans. I’m inspired and want to know how we can all help. So, I caught up with these intriguing people with giant hearts. They’ve officially adopted these three beautiful children and had some encouraging words for all of us from easy to hard ways we can be a community that embraces and loves orphans.
Don’t underestimate the power of friendships
When Jenny and Josh were considering taking this sibling group in, they’d told their closest friends. Hoping for support, they experienced rejection. Their friends were apprehensive of the ill child and didn’t think adding more to their full plate was in their best interest. Jenny and Josh’s lives overwhelmed their friends, so they stepped away. So, Jenny and Josh turned to their church family for help but were frustrated by the lack of support.
What Josh & Jenny learned:
- They needed to intentionally seek out like-minded friends. So, they found their tribe.
- It’s okay to switch churches – and they did!
- They learned to lean on each other, grow their marriage and fully rely on God’s words as their source of encouragement and strength.
What we can do:
- Jenny was overcome with encouragement when a friend stopped by to hug her and tell her she’s doing a good job. A text, card in the mail, phone call, quick words of affirmation go a long way. Notice and say something.
- Still, invite them and/or their family – Jenny and Josh’s invitations stopped because people assumed they were too busy.
- Pray for those families and listen to how God is nudging your hearts to be in their lives. (Tell the families you’ve been thinking of and praying for them!)
Don't underestimate the power of friendships in #adoption and #foster. God reveals himself through #friendships. Click To Tweet
Help meet tangible needs of Foster/Adoptive Families
Jenny and Josh have been supported financially, give food and household items, and gifted a full-size van. Jenny’s felt if she’s prayed for something, it showed up on her doorstep.
What Josh & Jenny learned:
- God does stir peoples’ hearts to give and support orphans.
- They learned to lean on God – in some way or another, He WILL provide.
What we can do:
- Provide a cup of coffee, a meal, kid’s clothes, school supplies, the week’s groceries, the mortgage payment.
- Offer to babysit.
- Offer to help clean, organize, do laundry.
- Notice a need and give.
Or give to these wonderful organizations that support orphans:
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Let's be a community that embraces #fosterkids and their #families. Click To Tweet
Adoption/Foster
Josh and Jenny are inspired and encouraged by people who join them in foster and/or adoption.
What Josh & Jenny learned:
- God is not the type of God who will be limited. Say, “yes” and watch God reveal His glory.
What we can do:
- Connect with your county’s foster care organization. There’s a local family who signed up for foster care, yet didn’t say “yes” to taking in a child for 15 years (and that’s okay) – simply start with the meeting and see where it leads you.
- Consider adoption – there are children out there looking praying, wishing for a family like yours to love them. Again, find a reputable adoption agency near you and start with a meeting.
The words that Jenny heard, “I have big things in store for you,” “Don’t put me in a box,” or “Keep trusting in me” aren’t just for Jenny – those words are for us too. We’re called in some way to take care of the orphans – let’s be that type of community, those type of people. When you pray – listen closely – what is God telling you?
God is saying to you: “I have big things in store for you,” “Don’t put me in a box,” and/or “Keep trusting in me.” Will you let God use you? #fostercare #adoption Click To Tweet
Check out our whole series, “Being the Hands & Feet of Jesus.”
Let’s be doers of the word and not just hearers only (James 1:22)!
Gimme Shelter: Reaching Out to the Homeless
A Foster to Adopt Story (And How they Need You)
Who is the Widow? Caring for Vulnerable Women
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Hi there! We're Cheryl, Lori & Mendie, co-owners and writers of Extravagant Hope. We are moms (and a grandma), daughters, wives, teachers, and friends. We are ordinary women, just like you, who have experienced hard stuff in life, just like you. But we are also women who have incredible joy because Jesus has given us hope - and continues to give us hope - in the midst of even our toughest realities. We are three women who have a dream of sharing that hope of Jesus with you. Join our Extravagant Hope Community and 10+ hope-filled freebies (prayer journal, memory verse cards, printable art and more) will be emailed straight to your inbox. Thanks for being here. :)